Psychology of communication: how to support under stress?

If a person is unable to fully adapt to stressful situations and their consequences and displays maladaptive behavior (aggression, passivity, or withdrawal), he or she may be in distress.

Distress is a condition in which the level of stress becomes so severe and chronic that a person can no longer cope with their normal life activities, and it begins to literally harm them. It is important to know how and be able to communicate in such cases.

Survivors of a crisis event may be depressed, anxious, or confused. Some may blame themselves for what happened. 

Keeping calm and showing understanding, you need to help your loved ones cope with stress, giving them a sense of safety, security, and respect. Perhaps (but not always) they will be ready to tell you exactly what happened. Listening to such a story is a great support!

However, it is important to never force (!) someone to talk about their experiences, as it can be inappropriate and traumatizing for various reasons. At the same time, it can be important for the traumatized to have someone just be there, even if it is silent. It is important to say that support will be nearby if they want to talk or offer practical help, such as food, a glass of water, or something else. You can't say too much, you need to give them the opportunity to be quiet. The opportunity to be quiet for a while will give them a break and may encourage them to share their feelings with someone if they want to.

It is important to be able to listen to people to understand their situation, their needs, to help them calm down and provide the necessary assistance. When talking to a person, it is important to listen: 

• eyes, demonstrating close attention; 
• ears to really hear what exactly is bothering the person; 
• with heart, compassion and respect. 

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Remember: being there and having a desire to help is already a big step towards the cure of your loved one!

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If you find yourself in a situation where you need to help and support a stranger in an emergency, we have also prepared some principles of communication for you:

• Treat them with respect and in accordance with their culture.
• Introduce yourself: say your First Name.
• Ask if they need help and what kind of help.
• If possible, find a safe and quiet place to talk.
• Create basic comfort conditions (for example, give water).
• Try to ensure the safety of the victim: take the person out of the place where they are in immediate danger if it can be done without risk; try to protect them from unnecessary attention, supporting their right to privacy and dignity; if the person is depressed, try not to leave them alone.
• Listen and try to calm them down.
• Stay close.

If the victim has a feeling of unreality of what is happening, detachment from the environment, then to restore contact with the environment and self-control, ask him/her to: rest his/her feet on the floor; help him/her to pat his/her hands on his/her knees; draw his/her attention to any neutral objects that are around him/her that he/she can see, hear or touch; ask him/her to tell what he/she sees and hears; ask him/her to focus on his/her breathing and breathe slowly.

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The material was prepared by

psychologist of the Charitable Foundation "PEACE FOR THE FUTURE"

Natalia Lukashuk

e-mail: psy.bypeace@gmail.com

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